Since random or sporadic faff-ups don\u2019t result in the losing of jobs, many of these incidents often become (once some time has passed and heads have cooled) \u2013 BIVIO Folklore, <\/strong>exhilarating anecdotes that get woven into to the Psychotic Mental Mishmash of our Company Culture.<\/strong> It\u2019s what makes our workplace not only fun (at times), but, like, funny<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was that time that someone didn\u2019t lock one of the shops but just closed the door and went home all la-di-da on a Friday night so the next day when the cleaner arrived at 7am she found the door ajar and had a panic attack thinking there had been a break-in (there hadn\u2019t). That was bad. Or the time when someone who should really know better gave a client hundreds of \u20ac\u20ac\u20ac in cash for a Chanel necklace that was so fake<\/strong> even I<\/em> could tell straight away.<\/strong> Or when an over-zealous (but not particularly au courant) <\/em>staff member mistook a Famous Film Actor \u2013 who was browsing the racks in a baseball cap and sunglasses in the hopes of peaceful anonymity \u2013 for a thief and insisted he check his tote bag in one of our lockers. (The offended Film Star left in a huff and has never returned but thankfully did not leave a 1-star Google Review). Or when two people from my team literally fell asleep \u2013 like head-down-and-drooling-on-a-desk asleep \u2013 during the mandatory Fire Safety Class <\/strong>everyone is required to attend by law and the instructor sent me a scathing email about the unprofessionalism of my staff. Or when one of my employees drove the BIVIO company van into a streetcar. On Christmas eve.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n I mean, I could go on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As the Head Weirdo of an improbably expansive and varied team of loveable weirdos, I am a great believer in making any aggrieved customer feel heard, giving my staff the benefit of the doubt and then simply moving on with our lives.<\/strong> Sure, I mean, there might be a little sit-down with me and Marco and a voice has been known to be raised at times (ahem). But nobody\u2019s perfect and if I went around firing people for every mistake they made I\u2019m not sure I\u2019d have anyone left on my team (and besides, Italy makes firing employees nearly impossible to do, but that\u2019s the subject for another day \u2013 perhaps).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Last week, however, I<\/em> was the architect of a Category 5 Dumpster Fire.<\/strong> This was not only mortifying, of course, but also inconvenient. Because when it\u2019s the Big Boss who pours the gasoline AND lights the match there is \u2013 technically speaking \u2013\u00a0 nobody next in line with a water bucket. (But I suspect I may need to upgrade Marco\u2019s iPhone very soon).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here was the burning hot ember that set a blaze across multiple channels<\/strong> [email, then Slack, then WhatsApp, then phone, and then more phone and then more emails]\u00a0 like they\u2019d been fueled by the Santa Anna Winds. See if you can guess the punchline.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Re: Re: R: Re: Re: Re: Private Individual Seeking an Appointment <\/em><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGuys, if you don\u2019t want to see this \u201cPrivate Individual” anymore could u make it clear to him so he stops writing to \u201cinfo\u201d and asking for appointments? This is like the 12th email he\u2019s sent and it\u2019s SUPER ANNOYING and I don\u2019t know how to explain to this \u201cPRIVATE INDIVIDUAL\u201d to make AN APPOINTMENT ONLINE? MAKE THESE EMAILS STOP I BEG U!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course you know the punchline here. We\u2019ve all sent an email to multiple recipients in \u201creply to all\u201d\u00a0 and if your nervous system is operating correctly, it is usually followed by the 21st Century version of the \u201cFight or Flight\u201d<\/strong> instinct telling you that someone was in \u201ccc\u201d who shouldn\u2019t be. That\u2019s literally what the \u201cundo send\u201d button was invented for.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n And yet, despite operating in a near constant state of Low-Grade Anxiety (among business owners it’s known as making a living<\/em>)<\/strong>, oddly enough, I didn\u2019t even double check who was in copy before sending. Or after sending. I think I just went on to another task, which was making my kid an after school snack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n About 100 seconds later, my WhatsApp \u201cBIVIO Managers\u201d chat beeps, then beeps again. Then all of a sudden, the Staff Chat on Slack pings. Then more beeps and pings.<\/strong> I open the apps and as I do, my phone rings. It\u2019s the Corso Lodi branch of BIVIO. My heart stops as I read notifications and answer the phone.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n On the other end is Francesca, one of my store managers who is clearly uncomfortable with the task before her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUh\u2026Boss?…I think maybe you didn\u2019t check\u2026\u201d.<\/strong> My hand begins sweating so hard I have to wipe it on my skirt as I scan the Slack and WhatsApp and the sprinkling of laughing and crying emojis under every message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh. Ok. I see what I did,\u201d I say, opening the Sent email and closing it again immediately as if it contained a virus.<\/strong> \u201cAnd here\u2019s what we\u2019re gonna do. I\u2019m going to\u2026you need to\u2026Just give me a minute. I\u2019m sure I can figure this\u2026\u201dand then I just stop, mid-sentence, the loading icon of my brain spinning to no effect.<\/strong> After a long pause, I hear Francesca take a deep breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2026But, I<\/em>, uh, shouldn\u2019t write anything, right?\u201d She asks, cautiously. \u201cLike, to the client? Because, mmm, I was in cc. Along with\u2026 well, the whole staff of Corso Lodi\u2026and like, the back office\u2026 And\u2026him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo no,\u201d I answer. \u201cThis is not your mess to clean up. Just tell me one thing. How old is this man? He\u2019s old<\/em>, right? Like, did I just totally ruin the life of a nice old man?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell\u2026\u201d answers Francesca in a whisper because she\u2019s in the store, \u201cHe comes in to sell his dead wife\u2019s clothes.<\/strong> So yeah, he is definitely old<\/em>\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My system re-boots and I scream the F word like a soccer fan of a losing team after six beers and a self goal.<\/strong> So much for my New Year\u2019s Resolution to self-ban swearing. \u201cI insulted a LONELY OLD WIDOWER<\/em>?<\/strong> Tell me. You are. Kidding.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div> My daughter runs into the kitchen from her room, colored pens in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMother!!! What??\u201d I wave her quiet while pacing around the kitchen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c…BUT\u2026\u201d Francesca continues\u2026 \u201cHe\u2019s not <\/em>nice. At all. He never wants to deal with me<\/em> even though I\u2019m the Store Manager.<\/strong> He always asks to speak to un responsabile<\/em> because\u2026 well, he\u2019s that kind of man. He only<\/em> respects Marco and we all know why.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOooooh. So he\u2019s an old misogynist<\/em> widow?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTotally,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd arrogant.<\/strong> And his dead wife mainly had tube skirts and cardigans. We\u2019d all be happy to never see him again. Which, at this point\u2026it looks like you\u2019ve accomplished?\u201d And she giggles nervously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I clear my throat. \u201cSo\u2026uh\u2026seeing as he likes Marco so much\u2026do you think\u2026?\u201d I don\u2019t even need to finish my thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes,\u201d answers Francesca. \u201c…That\u2019s probably for the best. It\u2019s his day off though.\u201d Pause. \u201cDo you\u2026I mean, should I call him?\u201d she asks, again hoping for a two-letter answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo. No, of course not. I will. Just\u2026 go on about your day. And uh\u2026Tell everyone there I\u2019m really sorry.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I hang up, bend at the waist and put my hands over my head on the counter as if during an earthquake drill. My daughter is still standing there, eyes wide, pens in hand. I wasn\u2019t even this upset when the company car got crashed on Christmas Eve<\/strong> so she\u2019s wondering what in the world could be worse than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMother\u2026? What happened<\/em>?\u201d She asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNothing much except I just sent the rudest<\/em> email about a client and by mistake I SENT IT TO THE ACTUAL <\/em>CLIENT<\/strong>. Like, he\u2019s reading it now<\/em>. Or maybe later tonight. And nobody can do a single thing about it.\u201d I can feel my daughter absorbing this information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh\u2026Jeez. That\u2019s really <\/em>bad. Do you like this client?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I sigh. \u201cNo, nobody likes this client. But that\u2019s not the point. I messed up big time.<\/strong> Like, in lots of companies, this is something someone could get fired for.<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I open the refrigerator, take an apple and some cheese and start making a snack. I try to regulate my breathing. My daughter sits down, considering the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo how does that work, exactly?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat, honey?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike, who can fire the boss?\u201d Diletta asks me questions about my job all the time, and they are usually super intelligent questions. She seems genuinely interested in BIVIO and since she knows all the characters and set locations I think she follows my job as if it were a Reality TV show.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIn this kind of company, nobody can,\u201d I say. \u201cIn some companies the Boss isn\u2019t the owner, but if the Boss and the Owner are the same person\u2026then, nobody.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd so, if you can\u2019t fire yourself\u2026then what are you going to do?<\/strong>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I sigh. \u201cWell. I\u2019m going to wait ten minutes and then ruin Marco\u2019s day off.\u201d I explain to her about the metaphor of the Dumpster Fire and the last person in line with a bucket of water.<\/strong> Diletta nods her head as she starts to eat her apple and cheese.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo Marco has to throw the water?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe first bucket, yes,\u201d I say. \u201cAnd then I have to throw an even bigger one. I have to throw a huge one, which will be an apology\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n \u201cRiiiight,\u201d she says. \u201cA maaaajor apology.<\/strong> But he\u2019ll never come back, that\u2019s for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNope,\u201d I agree. \u201cAt least, we hope not. Nobody liked him anyway. He was disrespectful to Francesca.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then she breaks into a little smile sipping her water. \u201cBut\u2026this is kind <\/em>of funny<\/strong>, in a way\u2026isn\u2019t it? Sort of?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I tell her that it isn\u2019t yet. But sooner\u00a0 \u2013 or probably\u00a0 later \u2013 it would be.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not gonna lie: there are many times we here at BIVIO Milano have really dropped the ball. We work in the retail industry and our business model requires making a bazillion subjective decisions a day \u2013 on the spot \u2013 right in front of our customers (\u201cIs this yes or a no? And if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10477,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bivio-backstories"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10459","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10459"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10459\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10526,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10459\/revisions\/10526"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10477"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10459"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10459"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10459"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/biviomilano.it\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/celeb-1024x768.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
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